How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others Now
Do you ever get caught in the trap of comparing yourself to others in your field? Maybe you've had thoughts like these:
- You ‘should’ be making a certain amount of money
- You ‘should’ have quit your job by now
- You ‘should’ have a certain number of clients
- You ‘should’ have more followers, likes or subscribers - I mean you're pretty incredible, the numbers "should" reflect this!!
At one point or another, we've all obsessed over someone else’s success. It's not a comfortable place to be. And it's not a productive place either, because focusing on the goals of others can deter you from appreciating your own success. Acknowledging your achievements is vital, and it’s the number one way to fully understand how much you've grown since starting out and how much more you can develop.
The truth about constantly comparing ourselves to others is that it’s often unfair. You can never really know anyone else's internal struggles or what it took for them to get where they are. We also tend to compare the worst aspects of ourselves with the best about someone else.
How can I stop the cycle?
Rather than comparing yourself to others time and time again, it’s good to step back and think of the bigger picture. Many of us end up measuring our success by comparing it to others in a similar position. But, hold on – isn’t that what society has always told us to do?
Put a halt to this cycle and try these tips instead to get into a better state of mind to conquer your business goals:
Just think of how much time and energy you waste comparing yourself to others - the clients they have, how much money they're making (apparently), how they stay so productive, their morning routine - it can often derail you from your own hopes and aspirations. Rather than feeling jealous of someone else, it’s so much easier (and better for your overall well-being) to be happy for them and their success.
Nobody shows their struggles, especially on social media, so it's difficult to determine what someone else is actually going through. Why not shoot them a message of support instead? It's all about changing your mindset and how you define yourself – not through constant comparison of others.
Far too often, when we compare ourselves to others, we think about the things they have and what we lack. I love this quote from Jo Painter. She told me, “You should look at things with curiosity, not judgement.” Curiosity creates an open, positive mind, while judgement overrules your subconscious with closed-mindedness and negativity.
How other people look at you doesn't affect your own personal goals and attributes; you’re still just as good as you were without the opinion of others. With time, you'll learn to care less about what others have and focus on yourself and expanding your own inner circle of positivity.
Move at your own pace
We compare ourselves to others when we see that someone else is in the position we want to be in. You might see that they have a string of clients on the list, lots of social media interaction and travel plans under their belt – then the jealous thoughts come in...”When will this happen for me… when will my time come?”
It's important to realize that we all move at our own pace; the way something happened for another won’t necessarily pan out in the same for you. Make sure you're moving at your own pace and feeling comfortable with your actions as you embark on this new journey. Don’t rush it! Embrace the process, be as genuine as you can through your social media accounts, engage with your audience, and slowly but surely the idea of what others are doing won’t always be at the top of your radar.
Become aware of your own success
Those who are more self-aware of their goals and successes don't usually dwell on everything they don’t have. Who has time to think about what someone else is doing when you're busy building your own empire? Think about all the opportunities you have conquered already (leaving your job, starting your own business, getting yourself out there and networking with other like-minded people). That's quite the achievement, and something to be proud of.
Take a moment, sit down and appreciate what you already have in front of you. Trust me, this might seem a little far-fetched at first, but it’s one of the best ways to unwind and really focus on everything you have achieved so far in your life. Then, write a list of all the things you want to achieve over the next week, month or even year. It helps having that list visually in front of you, and it makes your achievements and goals seem a little more realistic. You could also do this with all the fantastic things that have happened since you first started coaching. Be thankful for everything that has lead you to this path, and recognize that good things can happen.
Find inspiration without comparison
Too often, we look at what someone else has and ask ourselves:
- Why can’t I have the same success?
- Why can’t it happen to me?
- I’m just as good as they are, why isn’t my business picking up yet?
The list can go on and on. But why do we take the time and energy to compare ourselves to something we don’t have? Rather than looking at what someone else has, with a negative mindset, change your overall outlook on the situation. Find inspiration from the experience of others, and use them as lessons on your own path to success. It's the best way to remain mentally, physically and emotionally fulfilled.
Compare with only one person, yourself
All we can hope for in life is to become the best possible version of ourselves. Sometimes life can get us down and feeling like what we've strived for just isn't good enough. Try instead to look at your journey from a bigger picture, and learn to appreciate every little victory along the way. This will make it so much easier to focus on what you've achieved so far, rather than the things you haven’t accomplished just yet. After all, this is your story and a new chapter is being added to it every single day!
It's crucial to have a worthy ideal of where you want to be in the following months or years. This will make it so much easier to consistently work towards where you want to be, and how you want to live your life in the next few years. Then, you can look back and see how far you've come – through comparison with yourself and not others.
The final step to stop comparing yourself to others, is to give back. Help someone else who is starting out and offer your services, your advice, or even connections to help get them started. Just think, wouldn't you have loved a little help and guidance when you first quit your job or started out on your path? Yes, of course!
Another great idea is to join a mastermind. My mastermind offer all participants support in a non competitive environment surrounded by other incredible women.
Have you seen the details of my Mastermind program?? Click here to check it out.