All Successful Coaches Have This One Thing In Common
Many coaches are looking for the secret to success, but the problem is - they look in all the wrong places. They search for the best marketing techniques, research social media tactics, invest in advertising and still come up short. Although those things can be important - It seems like everything they do doesn’t bring in the results they want.
Maybe that’s you, or maybe you’re just starting your coaching career and you feel overwhelmed by the idea of building a business, attracting customers and working with clients.
Wherever you’re at in your coaching career, you won’t find the secret to success outside of yourself.
Of course marketing and business building are important, but the answer to finding success as a coach is really within you.
That might sound cheesy and sentimental, but it’s actually a practical and simple foundation that your business must be built on.
You will not succeed as a coach if you are not confident. It is the X Factor that separates coaches overworked and barely scraping by to standout coaches with a devoted following of enthusiastic clients.
What Happens When You Coach Without Confidence?
Insecurity takes away your control
Confidence is the fuel that powers the engine of action and change. You cannot grow or move forward without it.
When you attempt to do anything from a place of insecurity, you land on indecision and default choices. Life happens to you, rather than from you.
Your coaching business will be no exception. Insecurity puts everything else in the driver's seat - other people’s opinions, the need to be validated, the desire to make everyone happy, the fear of failure - all of that unhealthy stuff takes over and guess where it steers you? Not toward success.
Coaching is an empowering career, but you cannot empower others without empowering yourself first.
You can't hide insecurity - no matter how hard you try
Clients will feel your insecurity, even if you try to cover it up or overcompensate. They’ll walk away unhappy and your reputation will plummet. It might be a slow process, or it might happen quickly, but coaching from a place of insecurity will always lead to failure.
That’s because insecurity creates a feedback loop. When you aren’t confident, you give your power and control away to negative feelings of doubt. That doubt is always looking for a way to validate itself, so as you aim for a mark and then miss it, the feedback loop says “I told you - you’re not good enough.”
It happens again and again. You tell yourself you aren’t good enough, and then you take actions that inevitably validate those feelings, which in turn make you believe them even stronger.
That’s why, before you even begin to worry about business strategies, you need to look inside and make sure you’ve got the unwavering confidence it takes to be a coach.
Finding Confidence is Your First Step
Your clients need your confidence.
They come to you looking for guidance, answers and solutions to their problems.
It’s often a vulnerable place for them, and your confidence holds that space and allows them to be vulnerable while you guide them to the answers.
Have you ever been in an uncomfortable situation with someone who was extremely anxious? Maybe you’ve been a passenger in a car with a nervous driver or sat in a meeting with a presenter who stumbled through their presentation.
Those situations can already be a little nerve wrecking, but when the person who holds the authority can’t seem to get it together, it makes everyone involved even more anxious.
Then, of course, things go wrong, and the person in the position of authority feels validated in their insecurity and doubt.
It really is a vicious cycle, and you don’t want to put yourself or your clients through it.
But it can completely be avoided. You CAN become more confident.
Changing your mindset is very doable, so let’s take a look at how.
How to Become a Confident Coach
Own your accomplishments
It’s surprisingly easy to have a blind spot on your victories. That’s because blind spots are a natural part of our makeup - they serve a pretty important purpose, but they can definitely be misguided.
Why does insecurity make us blind to our accomplishments?
Blind spots occur because our brain is always looking for confirmation. It’s a survival technique that helps us focus in on a desired outcome.
When you think about it, it’s pretty clever. If you’re on the hunt for something, blocking out anything that doesn’t match your needs can help you spot what you're really looking for.
These blind spots pop up in our belief systems all the time in something called confirmation bias, which is just another way of saying “only seeing what validates your beliefs.”
So, if you are insecure, you’re going to hone in on anything that validates that belief, and everything else easily passes right by you.
But you can stop this automatic response by becoming aware of it.
If your insecurity has given you blind spots to your success, actively attempt to acknowledge all of your accomplishments. Make a list of everything you’ve accomplished - big and small. You’ll probably have a much bigger list than you can imagine.
Of course, the bonus of this technique is that making a list of your accomplishments will trigger that hunting part of your brain and actually make victories easier to spot.
Make a plan
Insecurity doesn’t like plans. It doesn’t have faith in itself to achieve anything, so plans just look like more opportunities for failure.
Confidence, on the other hand, loves a good plan. It likes to know the direction its going, and loves the feeling of coming up the the strategies to get there.
If you’re confident, making a plan will be easy. Knowing your goals and knowing you can achieve them means that plans aren’t intimidating or scary.
But if you’re insecure, plans can be absolutely terrifying, and just the idea of them can make you sweat.
So, coming up with a plan is one of those “fake it til’ you make it” situations. Even if it’s scary, and even if it’s incredibly difficult, you need to come up with a plan for your coaching business.
I’m not talking about a formal business plan, I’m talking about deciding what your aim is (what do you want?) and then coming up with the action steps you’ll need to get there.
That’s much easier to do if you have a clear idea of what being a coach really looks like.
Develop Your Skills
If you look at this list, what you’ll see is broad to narrow advice. Owning your accomplishments is much easier to do if you set goals and follow plans. So, making a plan is much easier to do if you develop your skills.
Right now, you might be insecure as a coach because you’re looking for validation outside of yourself or you’re attempting to make decisions that please everyone else.
But beyond all the psychological reasons for doubt, you might simply be feeling a lack of confidence about coaching because you haven’t developed your coaching skills.
You know coaching is a skill you have to learn
Somewhere in your mind you know that coaching is so much more than just talking to clients about their problems. You know that you’ll need to leverage your expertise, be a guide and mentor, offer strategic advice, build plans and teach others valuable lessons.
That’s a lot of pressure and responsibility, and it can be intimidating if you don’t know how to do it.
Training and certificateon are so important for that very reason. Once you learn exactly how to use those techniques, you’ll be exponentially more confident in your abilities.
Even if your personality steers you towards insecurity, building a solid foundation of skills will plant the seed of confidence.
Once that seed is planted, just like we discussed before, your brain will look for sources of validation.
And you know what? It will find it because you will have invested the time and energy into developing the necessary skills. You’ll know how to respond to your client’s problems, because you will have learned how to do so.
Each time you do, your confidence will grow and grow. As it does you'll become more and more unstoppable as a coach.
But you’ve got to start somewhere.
I created the Coaching Mastery Certification program to help you develop all the skills you need to be a stellar coach. Even if you’re just starting out and feel completely lost right now, you’ll walk away with the information, knowledge and expertise to be as confident as any successful coach.